This Connected Life with Mel Kettle

How do you ask, listen and observe?

How do you ask, listen and observe?

It’s been an interesting week with the government announcing the lifting of some of the COVID restrictions. I have to admit, I’m a little anxious about it all, but I am looking forward to being able to see a few more family and friends. 

In this podcast episode, I talk about how we ask, listen and observe.

There’s nothing like having to run much of your life through a video screen to realise that you need to brush up on your asking, listening and observational skills! Can you relate? 

One of the most challenging aspects of our COVID-19 normal is that we are no longer able to connect and engage with our people in many of the same ways we have previously. There are no more face-to-face meetings. No more in-person events. No more quick conversations in the corridors or lunch-rooms or as you pass by a colleague’s desk. 

Our primary form of communication now is either over the phone or, more likely, using some sort of video-conferencing technology. Whether you are using FaceTime, Zoom, MS Teams, BlueJeans, or even Houseparty, many of our usual non-verbal communication cues are more difficult to identify, if not completely absent. 

This is why it’s even more critical that we are aware of how and when we ask questions. Whether we are truly listening, and what, and how much, we are observing of the other person or people we are connecting with. 

In this episode you will learn:

• Why we need to ask questions
• What questions we should be asking our people
• How to ask personal questions
• Why listening is important
• How to improve your listening skills
• A few things we can do to become better listeners
• Observation through a video screen – and how hard it is!! 
• The importance of observation in communication 
• Non-verbal cues – what are they? 

More than ever it’s critical that we combine observing with asking and listening. If we observe something that seems a bit off-kilter, it’s important we kindly ask why. 

What are you asking? How are you listening? And what are you observing about your people? (And, what do you think they are observing about you?!)

You can connect with me on LinkedIn, Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle.

People Stuff with Zoe Routh

I feel like I say this ALL THE TIME, but I loved this conversation with Zoë Routh. We met about three years ago when I joined Thought Leaders Business School, and I liked her immediately! We have loads of things in common – a love of food and travel, pet chickens, and we both have close ties with Canada.

Professionally, Zoë is a leadership expert specialising in the people stuff. She shows leaders and teams struggling with office politics and silos how to work better together.

She is also the author of three books, with her fourth book, People Stuff - the power of perspective for better leadership, due out mid-2020.

Zoë is also the producer of the Zoë Routh Leadership Podcast, dedicated to exploring perspective in people stuff so we can live and lead better.

Zoë is an outdoor adventurist and enjoys telemark skiing, has run 6 marathons, is a one-time belly-dancer, has survived cancer, and loves hiking in the high country. She is married to a gorgeous Aussie and is mother to a few garden-wrecking chooks.

You can connect with Zoe at www.zoerouth.com and on LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook.

You can listen to this episode via the link above, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or via the podcast app on your smartphone.

What Zoë Routh and I talked about

• Having chickens at pets
• connection is currency and having a trust bank account
• building rapport through hugs
• Brene Brown and Maya Angelou
• Zoe’s fourth book, People Stuff – The Power of Perspective for Better Leadership
• how we see the world and how we be in the world
• how we make the best of a situation is an exercise in perspective
• deep humility and deep curiosity
• things that shape perspective
• how values shape your world view
• Survivor
• Against Empathy
• Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
• Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery
• The Authenticity Accelerator by Robert Rabbin
• Lance Secretan
• Ken Wilber
• The Last Lecture by Jeffrey Zaslow and Randy Pausch

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Managing your energy

Are we all sick of Zoom yet? I’ve been averaging about 20 hours a week on Zoom, and last week was closer to 30 as I was on an online course for four days.

Let me tell you, it’s been an energy KILLER.

Which is fitting as this episode is about managing your energy.

A critical component of leadership is knowing and managing your own energy levels.

Albert Einstein said everything is about energy.

And he is completely right. Because if we don't have energy, we don't have the ability to do what we want to do or what we need to do in life. 

In this episode I talk about:

• The types of energy – physical, emotional and spiritual
• Where we get our energy
• Things that sap our energy
• How we can get a quick energy boost
• What saps our energy

What gives you energy? And what saps it?

Thanks so much for listening! Please subscribe if you haven't, so you don't miss an episode. 

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Finding beauty within imperfections with Michelle Cox

Michelle Cox and I met in May 2019 at the space series event and immediately bonded.

Previously a global CEO, COO and currently a non-executive director, Michelle has owned, founded and headed up many companies in her twenty-five years in the corporate world. An elite athlete in her youth, she’s won awards in sport as well as business and personally overcome cervical cancer.

Michelle is the founder and author of the Wabi Sabi Series which includes a number of books that focus on topics we don't often talk about.

Wabi Sabi is a traditional Japanese philosophy that focuses on finding beauty within imperfections in our lives and gracefully accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay. The first three books in the series are available now at wabisabiseries.com or your favourite online stores:

• Doctors are not gods
• It's okay not to have kids
• Death doesn't have to be morbid

You can connect with Michelle on LinkedIn. Michelle's website is wabisabiseries.com.

What Michelle Cox and I talked about:

• Space Conference, Byron Bay
• taking a creative break
• it’s okay for us not to have children
• being harshly judged for not having children
• living a life that is absolutely right for you
• support vs judgement
• becoming a writer
• death
• challenges in life
• being an eternal optimist
• Regression Therapy
• Many Lives Many Masters
• Brené Brown books
• Gut by Julia Elders
• Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Iwasaki
• Future Fit by Andrea Clarke
• Michelle Obama – Becoming
• Melinda Gates – A Moment of Lift
• Super Soul Sunday– Oprah Winfrey
• Rich Roll interview with Dr Zach Bush

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Staying connected with your teams when you are all working in different locations

Last week I spoke about how to work from home. This time I’m speaking about how you, as a manager or leader, can stay connected with your teams when you are all working in different locations.

There are three main things we need to consider when we work from home – ourselves, our people and our space.

In this episode I talk about:

· Show self-compassion

· Being more effective communicators

· Curiosity

· Your culture – what can stay the same, what will change?

· Staying connected

· Clarity

· Change

· Creating the space – your new work space, the online space and giving yourself enough mental and emotional space

· Consistency

How are you coping with leading a team remotely? Is this the first time you have had to? What is surprising you about it?

Working from home, part 1

Blog copy #34

Staying connected when working from home

In this episode Mel talks about:

• Coping with changing routines
• Hope and opportunity
• Needing to work from home
• The benefits of working from home
• 7 tips to make working from home easier
• Set clear boundaries around the hours you work.
• Try and set clear boundaries around WHERE you work.
• Create some rituals around working from home.
• Make time to talk to real people every day
• Make time to exercise and move
• Structure you day as you would in the office
• Get some fresh air and natural light

What about you? Do you work from home? What’s your favourite part? What ideas do you have to make it easier?

Next week when I’ll share some advice on how you can stay connected with your team working remotely.

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Happy Families with Dr Justin Coulson

Dr Justin Coulson is one of Australia’s most respected and popular parenting authors and speakers. He is sought after for his expertise in family life, relationships, and wellbeing and resilience; and he is the founder of ‘Happy Families’. Justin has a PhD in Positive Psychology, is the father of six daughters (!!!), has written five books, and is a three-time bestselling author.

Justin's latest book, Miss-Connection: Why your teenage daughter hates you, expects the world, and needs to talk, is available now at all good bookstores and online.

You can connect with Justin on LinkedIn and you can follow him on Facebook at Happy Families. Justin's website is www.happyfamilies.com.au.

Justin has generously offered listers of this podcast access to his Happy Families Kickstart program for FREE! (Saving $97). It's 3 weeks, 3 easy ways to make positive changes in your family starting now.

THANK YOU JUSTIN!

What Dr Justin Coulson and I talked about

• Brené Brown
• acknowledge the humanity in people
• how do we show empathy and what do we say to people? How do we connect in a meaningful way and show vulnerability?
• Justin’s new book – Miss Connection
• being a father of 6 daughters
• most pain is a wonderful friend and an incredible teacher
• Teenage girls vs teenage boys – what to be aware of
• Connection is the currency of our relationships
• Stephen Covey – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
• Listening, laughter and lightness
• The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathon Haidt
• The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathon Haidt
• Dark Horse – Achieving Success through the Pursuit of Fulfillment by Ogi Ogas and Todd Rose
• The Happiness Lab Podcast with Dr Laurie Santos
• The Art of Manliness
• Hidden Brain Podcast – NPR
• 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
• The Jesus Wars by John Jenkins

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Do you have a morning routine?

This episode is about morning routines.

I talk about:

· the many benefits to having a morning routine and how it can help set our day up for success.

· Steve Jobs used to ask himself every morning “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”, while looking in the mirror. If he said no on too many consecutive days then he made some changes. This was one of his morning rituals that helped set his mindset for the day ahead.

· Author and podcaster Tim Ferris says that having a morning routine can help you “win the day”. If you accomplish one good thing in your morning routine, you’ve accomplished one good thing for that day, and you’re much more likely to have a good rest of the day.

· My lack of a great morning routine. Although I do include exercise into my mornings at least a few days a week these days!

· Morning pages

· Exercise

· Meditation

· James Clear and his excellent book Atomic Habits

· My proposed morning routine and a 30 day challenge

Do you have a morning routine? What does it look like?

I’d love to know.

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Or you can email me – mel@melkettle.com

I’m always happy to hear from listeners, and if you have a guest you would like to nominate or would like to nominate yourself, you can apply via my website, www.melkettle.com

Connecting through travel with Kim Stockham

Kim Stockham and I first met about 14 years ago through our local chamber of commerce. We bonded over the challenges of working from home and staying sane! We also bonded over our shared love of travel. Today Kim is based in Singapore, heading up Corporate Communications for the Expedia Group in the Asia Pacific. Her role is dedicated to communications which help elevate the Expedia Group brand and team in APAC, and which recognises the value of travel to the world. She works across global and local corporate communications projects, as well as supporting Corporate Development (M&A) and Public Policy/Government Relations teams. In 2019 Kim was recognised as in the global ‘Top Women in PR 2019 Awards’, acknowledging and celebrating her global leadership in communications.

You can connect with Kim on LinkedIn.

What Kim Stockham and I talked about

• being a Super-Connector
• having a strong love of meeting people, friends and travelling
• the kindest thing you can do is share your friends
• Janine Garner - It's Who You Know
• Karen Morley - Lead Like a Coach
• Staying connected with a remote team
• How corporate communications has changed
• saying now eloquently
• kindness and compassion in business - don’t run over anyone in your race
• Living overseas
• A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles
• Financial Times
• Wall Street Journal

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle

Approaching 50 - Ten things I learned in my 40s

I turn 50 next week - eek! Where have the last ten years gone???

Obviously I'm older, hopefully wiser, and I have definitely learned A LOT. I thought I would share my top ten learnings of the last ten years to commemorate the end of my 40s. Which, let's face it, has been pretty damn good, which a few fairly awful exceptions!

Top ten things I learned over the last ten years

1. Fill your own cup first - if you don't look after yourself, how can you serve others?
2. Being kind, positive and happy are all choices. And yes, some days it can be really hard.
3. Go with your gut – if it doesn’t feel right it’s probably not! Whether it’s a relationship, your health, a job, a situation.
4. If you don’t love what you do then do something else.
5. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.
6. Be you. Don’t try and be someone you’re not because people will sense something is off.
7. Everyone is scared of messing up and everyone has moments of self-doubt. If you want to succeed you need to get out of your own way. Comparison is the thief of joy, so if you need to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to what you were like a month, year, decade ago.
8. Change is constant so learn how to deal with it.
9. True friends will stick by you in bad times and be genuinely happy for your success in good times. So make time to see them and call them and don’t rely on social media to find out how they really are
10. Life is short, live it. For me, this means take opportunities, travel, say yes more than I say no.

What do the next 10 years hold? Who knows! Hopefully a lot of great experiences, opportunities and more travel.

What have you learned in the last ten years?

I’d love to know.

You can connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #thisconnectedlife and tagging me @melkettle. I’m always happy to hear from listeners, and if you have a guest you would like to nominate or would like to nominate yourself, you can apply here.

If you enjoyed this podcast, I would love you to subscribe